Same School, Same Circles…
There’s always one. The first one to doubt you. The first one to whisper instead of support. The one who watched you glow and hated every second of it.
This story is about that person.
The OG Hater.
Not a stranger. Someone real.
Someone I actually grew up with.
We went to the same schools. Our parents knew each other. We played on the same teams, shared group chats, talked about what we wanted to become. From the outside, it probably looked like we were close. And maybe we were, for a moment.
At first, they weren’t a hater at all.
In fact, they were in my corner or at least it seemed that way.
We laughed together. Dreamed together. Made plans for the future. We talked about growing into something big.
But the thing is, some people only support you as long as you stay beneath them.
There were little signs I ignored — the backhanded compliments, the tone behind certain jokes.
Like:
“How do you pose like that when your butt’s not even that big?”
Said like a joke. But it sat with me.
As I started stepping into myself, owning my voice, my space, my vision, something shifted.
The support faded.
The sarcasm started.
Suddenly, everything I did was “too much,” “weird,” or “just a phase.”
That’s when I realized:
She didn’t actually hate me.
She hated that I was becoming everything she didn’t believe she could be.
The Shift
When you start evolving and stepping into who you’re meant to be, not everyone can keep up. Some people haven’t done the inner work, and instead of cheering you on, they project their own fears and insecurities onto you.
That’s exactly what happened here.
I wasn’t being “fake.” I was just becoming realer than I’d ever been.
And they couldn’t handle it.
Slowly, things changed. They stopped talking to me like they used to. They stopped congratulating me openly. They stopped inviting me to group hangouts I had been part of forever.
The hardest part was that they didn’t even show up to my son’s first birthday and only told me the day of.
I didn’t get it. It hurt.
But the more I grew, the quieter they became.
Still, they would ask me to go on walks and we did. It was always filled by noisy questions like, “How do you do that?” or “How do you…”
That’s when I realized this wasn’t about friendship or support.
They weren’t inviting me anywhere. They weren’t showing up for me even when I openly asked for support.
Even when we talked about dreams, it was always followed by, “Don’t dream too big.”
Honestly, that made me laugh. Like, girl, that’s literally what you’re supposed to do — dream big.
When I Glowed Up, She Showed Out
The hating became undeniable. My growth exposed something in her that was not easy to see at first.
I tried to bring her along. I offered her chances to help me with projects and side gigs, things she had expressed interest in. It felt good to give back and watch friends support each other.
But something switched.
One night, over a bottle of wine, I shared my plans for a new project. I even gave her little notes on scheduled content. I was excited. I wanted us to work together on managing a page.
Weeks passed, and I had to ask multiple times if she had made progress. What she presented was completely opposite to what we had discussed. Instead of working on the social media content like I asked, she wanted to pitch marketing drinks to the owner. I was literally the social media manager and was trying to bring her on as the marketer.
It was a huge wake-up call. I was not sure if it was a complete miss or something more calculated.
Later, with another project, I even paid her upfront trusting she would deliver. Weeks went by without any updates. When I messaged her, she said she was too busy and offered to return the money. I told her not to worry and said I would handle it myself. Then, I got a message with the completed project and an apology.
Now I see her doing the same things I do, which is fine. Everyone has their own path. But damn, that was a shitty way to treat a friend.
We are done.
Real Talk — Haters Are Just Unhealed Mirrors
I used to let this kind of energy hit me hard. It would affect me in ways I couldn’t always explain. There were days I wouldn’t even want to get out of bed. Moments I’d worked so hard for…big, joyful milestones— felt heavy because of it.
But here’s what I’ve learned: everything I was doing, everything I was earning, was because I was telling my truth. I was walking fully in my truth. And that’s what makes people uncomfortable.
Haters? They’re just unhealed mirrors. They look at you and see parts of themselves they don’t like. They doubt you, question you, and try to drain your energy so they can protect their own pain.
No one can steal your light. They might try, or get inspired by you—which is honestly kind of cute. Because when you inspire someone to take that first step toward self-love, that’s powerful.
But just because you trigger something deep inside them, something worse than the devil himself, and that starts them on a journey doesn’t automatically make them “woke” or enlightened. Sometimes it just means they’re carrying trauma. Beliefs and guilt that haunt them, trapping them in a false image of who they think they should be.
They might stay stuck in those roles, hoping to avoid hate, but really they’re just silencing themselves. And that silence? It’s a slow death.
To Anyone With an OG Hater Keep Going Anyway
These are my words to you — the ones who don’t get congratulated enough.
I remember hearing Rihanna say this in an acceptance speech: You don’t get congratulated enough. And honestly, I couldn’t agree more.
Every hardship you face. Every day you get up. Every night you tuck yourself in. Every time you walk into a place you don’t want to be just because you have to.
Being love and light in places that seem to crave darkness.
You are amazing.
You deserve the world.
You are doing such an incredible job.
Even when things aren’t perfect, you inspire the people around you to glow. You are the reason things are getting better for yourself and for those who quietly watch you.
You are so amazing.
Keep going. Keep shining. And leave behind anyone who wasn’t meant to sit at your table for the long haul.
Marketing Tips for My OG Haters Who Secretly Love What I Do (You Know Who You Are)
Okay, listen up. If you are one of those OG haters who low-key respects the grind and actually wants to glow up, I got some real insider tips for you straight from a self-taught baddie like meee.
1. Slide Into Those DMs the Right Way
Want to grow your clientele? Stop waiting for people to find you online or hoping ads will do all the work. Reach out directly but do not come across as desperate. If you do not have experience yet, begging online for work can make you look needy and that is a no-no. Be confident, be clear, and make your value obvious.
2. Network Smarter Not Harder
Promoting free work is cool but do not make it your whole brand. When you are constantly giving without boundaries, people can smell the weakness. That puts you in a vulnerable spot where others might use you because they know you will do whatever just to be seen. Set limits, value your time, and do not let anyone make you their doormat.
3. Find Your People and Learn From the Best
Want to mentor or be mentored? Do not try to go it alone. Put yourself under someone you truly vibe with, someone who inspires you and has the kind of growth you want. Build that genuine connection and grow together. Real relationships are better than fake followers any day.
So if you are watching and want to stop being that OG hater and start being an OG creator, start here.
